Krueger, Juelich & Schmisek, PLLC

What to expect at your initial divorce consultation

2022-09-26T14:09:57Z

All aspects of divorce are daunting, but if you have never been divorced before, even the first meeting with your attorney may seem intimidating. Minnesota has several requirements that divorce attorneys must follow so they can take your case. Here is what you can expect.

Prior to your initial consultation

Before setting foot in your prospective divorce attorney's office, the legal practice must perform a check to see whether any conflict of interest exists that would prevent their attorneys from representing you in your divorce case. Once they have determined that no conflict is present, the practice will contact you to set up an initial consultation.

Expect to provide a lot of information

You'll be the one doing most of the talking during the initial consultation, as you will need to provide your attorney with the reason for the divorce and any pertinent details. Expect the attorney to make notes and ask questions to ensure that all information you provide is accurate. You'll need to give details, including:

Basic contact information
Dates of your marriage, names and ages of your children
Employment information for you and your spouse
All assets, including retirement accounts
All debts, including mortgages, student loans, etc.

Know approximate balances for all assets and debts, whether you had a prenuptial agreement or any premarital assets.

Understanding the divorce negotiation process

Being thorough is an important part of the divorce negotiation process. Not having all the necessary information can lead to problems, delays, and not getting a fair deal for the final decree. Your attorney should also discuss any foreseeable issues and complications, such as custody, parenting time, college expenses, etc., as well as fees and how the legal practice's typical financial arrangements. For many couples, dispute resolution is necessary for the divorce process. If potential problems are present, you should learn about resolving your divorce through mediation, arbitration, or collaborative divorce. Remember that each case is different, with some only requiring traditional litigation. Finally, make sure you are comfortable with your chosen legal practice to get the most out of your divorce settlement.

The high stakes of splitting with a narcissist

2022-09-09T12:50:28Z

Sometimes, splitting with a partner is amicable and effortless. Other times, it's a nightmare of epic proportions. People who find themselves in a divorce or breakup with a narcissist usually fall into the latter category. If kids are involved, the situation can grow especially fraught. When child custody questions hang in the balance, Minnesota judges weigh each situation on its merits and ultimately decide what is best for the minors. As such, it's imperative to get all of your ducks in a row before heading into court. It is also important that you do not attempt to diagnosis your partner, even if you believe they have characteristics of a narcissistic personality disorder.

What is a narcissist?

Before we dive into a few points about divorcing a narcissist, let's first define it. In simplest terms, a narcissist is someone who has an excessive interest in, or admiration of, themselves. In truth, all of us have a selfish, narcissistic side. It's coded into our DNA. Narcissistic personality traits exist on a continuum, from few narcissistic traits to a clinical personality disorder. While only a very small percentage of the U.S. population suffers from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), the impact of this disorder can have significant emotional and financial impact during divorce. In fact, even when an individual’s personality traits do not rise to the level of a diagnosable disorder, working through a divorce with an individual having unhealthy narcissistic tendencies can be daunting. So what are some of the unhealthy traits and behaviors associated with NPD? In most cases, people dealing with the issue:

Are incapable of putting other people first
Prioritize their needs and wants
Turn on the charm to win people over
Rarely take responsibility for their actions and bad behavior
Have little or no empathy

How do narcissists often behave during a divorce?

Narcissists typically use a triangulation approach when divorcing, meaning they:

Try to get your shared friends on their side
Manipulatively use the kids as pawns
Bring everything to the public forum via social media

Preparing for their slings and arrows is the best way to battle a narcissist. Also, make sure you're safe. In worst-case scenarios, things can turn violent.

Child custody and NPD

Working out a child custody plan with someone suffering from narcissistic personality disorder can sometimes feel unmanageable. It is important to work with an attorney who understands the dynamics and can offer additional support and resources for you to help manage the difficulties you will face when divorcing a narcissist. Requesting a court-ordered psychological evaluation to determine if someone suffers from NPD is also wise.

Avoiding Common Property Division Mistakes in Minnesota

2022-08-16T20:12:21Z

When a married couple divorces, one of the most important things they need to do is divide their property. This can be a very complicated process, and if it's not done correctly, it can have major consequences.

Failing to properly value assets

When assets are not properly valued, it can lead to one person getting significantly more or less in the divorce than they should have received. While there are certainly practical reasons for approximating the value of an asset, which is a well-accepted practice, there are also times when approximating values could cost a party significantly more than the expenses of having a professional properly value the asset at the time of the litigation. It is important to talk to an attorney about when it really matters to bring in a professional appraiser. Another error occurs when a party or inexperienced attorney fails to recognize that a portion of the value of an asset is non-marital. Non-marital assets, or the portion of the value of an asset that is both marital and non-marital, must be excluded from the division of marital property to arrive at an equitable division of the marital asset. One of the most common valuation errors that parties and inexperienced attorneys make relates to valuation of defined benefit pension plans. Account statements for defined benefit pension plans rarely reflect the true value of the pension benefit. Statements may reflect contributions made into the plan along with accrued interest, but that is not the real value of the pension. The value of the pension is calculated using complicated formulas that follow the rules of the pension plan for that particular retirement account. Often the total contributions are thousands or tens of thousands of dollars lower than the actual value of the asset. If you are divorcing and you or your spouse has a defined benefit pension, it is critical that you consult with an attorney to obtain advice about the asset. In cases where there is the potential for significant value in the pension, an actuary is hired to prepare the present value calculation for the asset.

Failing to consider the long-term impact of property and debt allocations

Divorce is a stressful process, and failure to consider more than the emotional aspects of the division of property and debt can lead to regrets later. Deciding whether to keep the family home may regrettably be made based upon emotions, rather than on practical considerations. Sometimes parents believe that keeping the marital homestead will offer the children stability. As a result, they make emotional decisions, such as keeping the home even when they can’t afford the expenses, or foregoing retirement assets in the divorce so they can be awarded the property. While it can be true that keeping the home offers stability for the children, if that parent must work a second job to afford the mortgage and taxes on the property, the children are losing the stability of having their parent present. Walking away from all the retirement assets to keep another asset can have significant negative impact on a party later in their life. While in a divorce process, it may be challenging to have to think about retirement. After all, it can be overwhelming to just think about the immediate situation at the present time. But failing to think about long-term events, like retirement, could result in significant financial hardship later in life. Taking on credit card debt may look good on paper, as the debt offsets assets in a divorce. However, if a party is not able to pay off the debt assumed in the dissolution, that debt will continue to grow with the addition of interest charges. That party may end up paying a great deal more than bargained. Similarly, allowing one party to be allocated joint debt or debt held in the other’s name may be a huge mistake if the party taking the responsibility fails to pay the debt to the creditor. While a party may believe the debt is no longer his or her responsibility since his or her spouse was ordered to take the debt in the divorce, the reality is that the creditor is not bound by any divorce agreement or order. The creditor can still come after the party who walked away from the debt in the divorce and collect on that debt if it was held in the party’s name or was held jointly. Another potential mistake arises when parties decide to keep a vehicle with a large, burdensome loan payment because it is “under water.” Financially, it may be better to sell the vehicle for less than the outstanding loan and bring money to the table to do satisfy the balance of the loan. In some instances, this loss could be negotiated to be a shared cost between the parties of the marriage. The larger impact of such a decision, however, is that the party can free up cashflow by purchasing a less expensive vehicle with smaller payments, which in turn can help the party more quickly get back on his or her feet. While this is a practical solution, it may not be the best decision in all cases. It is important to speak with an experienced attorney to understand how decisions in one area of the divorce might impact another area of the case, such as how reducing a car payment might impact a spousal maintenance claim.

Failing to appreciate the tax implications of certain assets

Some assets, such as retirement accounts, investment accounts, or rental properties, can have significant tax implications. A common mistake is made when one party is allocated the retirement assets using the pre-tax value without applying any tax adjustment for the anticipated taxes the party will have to pay when they withdraw the funds for their use. Several options exist to overcome the potential inequities in awarding the parties pre-tax assets, or assets that otherwise will result in taxes such as capital gains taxes on investments and on the sale of real property. For example, with respect to pre-tax retirement assets, a tax adjustment may be made to the asset to essentially lower the value of the asset by considering the after-tax value. This is sometimes called “tax-affecting” the asset. In other cases, the parties may equally divide all of the pre-tax assets so they have the same number of dollars of pre-tax assets allocated between them, thereby allowing the remaining assets to be equitably divided under an “apples to apples” balancing of property to each. In more complex cases, you will want to work with an experienced attorney so the property financial expert may be brought in to prepare accurate financial and tax calculations. When estates are large, a small mistake can be substantial dollars. Making mistakes when dividing property can have serious consequences, including financial ones. It's important to make sure you understand the process, take the time to do it right, and work with an experienced attorney who understands the complexities of dividing assets and debts.

Four divorce proceeding mistakes to avoid

2022-07-28T13:50:04Z

Four divorce proceeding mistakes to avoid

Getting divorced can be a very difficult time. Many people desire an amicable divorce and seek out an attorney who will work with them to achieve this goal. These parties sincerely want the proceedings to go smoothly so they can minimize the emotional and financial costs. Despite this desire, they often fail to recognize how taking certain actions may impede the settlement process or result in costly and lengthy proceedings. To increase the chances of a reasonable settlement that can truly be labeled as an “amicable” divorce, you will want to avoid the following common mistakes:

Not compromising

During a divorce, parties will need to compromise with each other. It is rare for both parties in a divorce to completely agree on everything; getting to a resolution requires give and take. Working with an experienced and skilled attorney who can identify creative settlement options can make it easier to reach compromises. Many compromises are made with a focus on common, not competing, interests. Even though a compromise may seem unfair, it is important to consider it in the context of a broader picture, such as a cost-benefit analysis, non-financial benefits like good will, or something that creates an opportunity not otherwise available. Taking this approach to compromises allows parties to achieve their objective of having an amicable divorce, which can lead to long-term satisfaction, despite their initial feeling that the compromise was unfair.

Sharing details online

While it might be tempting to share the details of your divorce or blast your spouse on social media, you should avoid doing so. The conduct could be considered harassment and create a basis for a harassment restraining order. Additionally, this conduct diminishes the level of trust between parties and can create significant emotional barriers to moving forward in a productive manner by ending settlement negotiations and inviting intense and costly litigation. Further, information posted online can be seen by current and future employers, children, grandchildren, and other third parties. In short, do not post anything about your divorce on social media.

Attempting to hide money

Part of any divorce involves dividing up assets. Some people feel that hiding money will work out in their favor, but this is one of the most common divorce settlement mistakes, and it can also be one of the costliest. Attempts to hide money from your spouse during a divorce will likely be uncovered. Further, in Minnesota, hidden assets can become the focus of post-divorce litigation that is extremely costly. The bad actor risks being ordered to pay for the attorney fees and court costs incurred by their former spouse for having to return to court to address the undisclosed assets.

Dating during the divorce process

Some people do not wait until their divorce gets finalized to start dating. If you decide to date while going through a divorce, it is important to understand that it can complicate the process. If both parties have not emotionally accepted their marriage is over, or if one spouse is spending marital assets or income on the new significant other, the new relationship may create barriers to reaching a settlement or trigger a demand to trace the expenses, which increases the cost of the divorce. Dating before the divorce is final might also impact the custody and parenting time determination. Minnesota law requires judges to consider the stability that each parent’s proposed custody and parenting time proposal provides their children. It can take a long time for children to process their parents’ divorce. Introducing a new partner while children are still adapting to new schedules and living in two homes can add to their stress and is not in their best interests. If you want your divorce process to go smoothly, it is wise to avoid these four mistakes. To help ensure you avoid making these and other mistakes during your divorce proceedings, consider hiring an experienced attorney. A good divorce attorney will help walk you through how you should handle these difficult situations with a focus on what is ultimately most beneficial to you and your children.

What factors are considered for child support in Minnesota?

2022-04-22T16:45:08Z

For Minnesota parents who are separated or divorced, child support is one of the key issues they need to think about. Regardless of whether it was a married couple, a non-traditional family or there were unusual circumstances, having a firm grasp of the law is crucial. The child’s best interests take precedence.

Legal aspects of a child support determination

There are three types of child support: basic support, medical support and childcare support. Basic support is expected to cover the fundamental needs, including a place to live, food, clothes, educational expenses, transportation, and other associated costs. Medical support includes the premiums and out-of-pocket expenses for medical, dental, vision, mental health, and other similar expenses, but it does not include over-the-counter medications. Childcare is for daycare expenses while a parent is working or in school. Minnesota considers both parents’ gross incomes and each parent’s respective percentage share of the total combined incomes. This is commonly referred to as “PICS” (Parental Income for Child Support). There are statutory guidelines that set the level of basic support based on the parents’ combined incomes and the number of joint children. Parents are expected to contribute their respective PICS percentages towards their children’s basic needs. The obligor (Parent A) is the parent who either has less parenting time or who has a higher income if the parties have equal parenting time. The obligor will pay child support to the other parent (Parent B). The obligor’s child support obligation will be adjusted downward based on the amount of court-ordered parenting time that parent has. Each parent is also expected to pay their respective PICS percentage of the children’s portion of the insurance premiums, out-of-pocket expenses, and childcare expenses. The amount of parenting time each parent has does not impact medical or childcare support; those are based solely on incomes. For medical support, the obligor is the parent who does not pay the insurance premiums. For childcare support, the obligor is the parent who does not pay the provider directly. If Parent A provides the health insurance or pays the childcare expenses, Parent B would owe support to Parent A. In this situation, Parent A’s basic support obligation would be offset by Parent B’s medical and childcare support obligations.

Determining incomes

Determining parents’ gross incomes is relatively simple when they receive a flat salary or hourly wage. Things become more difficult when a parent works fewer than 40 hours per week, is seasonally employed, unemployed or underemployed; receives overtime, shift differential, bonuses, commissions, or stock compensation; is self-employed; or has trust, investment, retirement, disability, or military income. The court has broad discretion when determining a parent’s income and may also deviate from the presumptive statutory guidelines if good reasons exist. When there are allegations that a parent is voluntarily unemployed or underemployed, it may be necessary to retain a vocational evaluator or other experts to assist the court in determining a parent’s earning potential.

Child support cases may require experienced guidance

Child support can be complicated and difficult regardless of whether the parents are on good terms. The experienced attorneys at Krueger, Juelich & Schmisek PLLC can help you with your family’s unique circumstances.

Federal employment benefits in a Minnesota divorce

2022-07-28T13:49:32Z

Divorce involving a federal employee in Minnesota can be stressful and complicated because there are additional complexities that you need to understand and navigate. When you or your spouse are a federal employee, those benefits should be given special consideration; they cover important topics such as retirement annuity payments, Thrift Savings Plan division, Federal Long Term Care Insurance Program (FLTCIP), Federal Employee’s Group Life Insurance (FEGLI), and health insurance.

Federal benefits

Federal benefits are offered to federal employees along with their usual salary. These benefits are valuable and are an important consideration during a divorce. For instance, Federal Employee Health Benefits (FEHB) is medical insurance that covers medical bills, including prescription drugs, hospitalization, physician and surgery fees, and dental and optical care. Under the Spouse Equity Act, an ex-spouse of a federal employee may qualify for separate FEHB health insurance coverage. While that application is pending, they have the right to Temporary Continuation of Coverage of these benefits for up to three years following the divorce. Obtaining coverage requires proper planning and meeting strict deadlines of the federal government. The attorneys at [nap_names id="FIRM-NAME-1"] are here to assist you to ensure that transition is smooth.

Federal retirement benefits that are accrued over the course of the marriage are considered marital property that can be divided in a divorce. For federal employees, these retirement benefits can include Federal Employees Retirement System (FERS) or Civil Service Retirement Service (CSRS), and the Thrift Savings Plan (TSP). Depending on the nature of the federal employment, other specialized retirement systems may apply, such as for Air Traffic Control personnel and foreign service officers.

Can you split federal retirement benefits?

Yes, you can. Minnesota is an equitable distribution state. That means all marital assets are subject to a fair distribution, without consideration of what might be called “marital fault” in other states.. The federal system of retirement is complicated and governed by rules that are different from those that apply to non-federal plans. It is important that you have an attorney who is familiar with these differences. The attorneys at [nap_names id="FIRM-NAME-1"] have worked on a considerable number of these matters and would be glad to assist you.

Remarrying

A remarriage of either ex-spouse does not affect the rights they have to retirement benefits in most circumstances. However, the non-federal employee spouse will lose their right to the former spouse survivor benefit (the retirement annuity after the death of the federal employee) and FEHB if they remarry prior to age 55. If that marriage later ends, those benefit can be regained under certain circumstances. Additionally, the federal employee will be limited in designating a later spouse as a survivor benefit to the amount of the maximum benefit that was not previously assigned to a former spouse.

Attorneys with federal employment benefits experience

Whether you are a federal employee or married to one, it is essential for you to have an attorney who is familiar with the special circumstances that apply to your divorce. The attorneys at [nap_names id="FIRM-NAME-1"] have extensive experience in these matters and will be able to guide you through your marriage dissolution with attention to your individual situation.

What are the unique challenges of a military divorce?

2022-07-28T13:49:07Z

Residents of Minnesota who are members of the military may find it difficult if they decide to get a divorce. Military divorces carry certain unique challenges. It’s important to understand what they entail and how you can work through them.

What three matters are challenging in a military divorce?

While divorce itself is always a challenge, if you are a member of the military who is ending your marriage, it’s even more complex. You will have to decide what is the most important to you out of three subjects: your children and child support, spousal support you will have to pay your spouse or your pension, which you may have to share with your spouse. Obviously, with a military lifestyle, you are always moving around from one base to another. As a result, your kids and finances are always the top issues in a military divorce. If your children are very young, it could be difficult for your spouse who is not a member of the military. It’s not uncommon for non-military spouses to either be unemployed or underemployed to care for the kids, which means they will need financial support after the divorce.

What happens when you have frequent deployments?

As a member of the military, you could be deployed frequently, leaving your spouse home to care for the kids. As a result of your frequent movement, your spouse may have a preference for child custody and be the primary parent. That means they will ask for more money in child support, but you can also expect to pay more in spousal support depending on their work situation. This is also the case if your spouse wants to return to school to complete their education and get a better job that pays more. It’s important to understand that your spouse probably sacrificed a lot while you have been in the military.

How can your pension be divided?

Often, you will have to determine how your pension will be divided after your divorce. You may be able to compromise with your spouse and give them certain portions of your outside accounts if they will agree not to try and get anything from your military retirement. It’s worth noting that even if the couple was married for one day, the non-military spouse is still due a share of the military spouse’s pension. If you are going through a military divorce, it’s important to know which of these issues is most important to you. It can help things go smoother for you and your spouse.

Parenting plans could be beneficial for children

2021-07-07T14:12:31Z

When a couple is divorcing or separating, they will likely try to protect their children from conflict. Children can feel their parents' stress. This is why it is important for divorcing and separating couples to dissolve their marriage or relationship as amicably as possible. One of the ways for Minnesota couples to do this is to develop a parenting plan for child custody and parenting time.

What is a parenting plan?

A parenting plan is a term used to reference the agreements parents make for raising their children. When the term “parenting plan” is used informally, it means the basic provisions included in a divorce or custody decree that set out the custody responsibilities and parenting time schedules. When the term “parenting plan” is used formally, it is used to reference a very specific statute in Minnesota found at Minn. Stat. § 518.1705. When agreeing to a formal parenting plan under Minn. Stat. § 518.1705, the parties may use alternative designations for legal and physical custody, but they must include a traditional designation of sole or joint custody for out-of-state enforcement purposes. When using a formal parenting plan under the statute, an agreement regarding how the parties will resolve disputes must be included in the plan. A good parenting plan will clearly state the ways that parents will share child custody responsibilities. There are a number of parenting plan options available for divorced and separating parents. The plan should take the children's ages and emotional and developmental needs into consideration because they will change as the children get older and should always be based on their best interests. For example, vacations that are two weeks long may not be appropriate for a 4-year-old because of the length of time the young child would be away from the non-vacationing parent, but this may not be an issue when the child is older. A parenting schedule should also take each parent's work or school schedules and the proximity between the parents’ homes into account.

Is a parenting plan necessary?

Parents are not required to create a formal parenting plan under Minn. Stat. § 518.1705. Minnesota law only requires custody designations and a parenting time schedule in a divorce decree or custody order.

How detailed does a parenting plan need to be?

Parenting plans for child custody can outline basic responsibilities for parenting or they can be very detailed. The plan must include a schedule so that each parent will know which days or times they will be caring for the children. Good plans include enough detail that each parent has clarity about the schedule, exchange locations, holiday celebrations, and decision-making for the children. Clarity helps avoid conflict in raising the children. It is best for parents to work together to create a plan that works for both parties and takes into account future considerations. When a solid plan is established, ex-spouses and former partners typically have less conflict in the future because there are fewer ambiguities. Parents know their children and their unique circumstances better than anyone, and a parenting plan developed by the parents will allow the plan to be tailored to their family. Divorcing and separating couples should have quality legal representation throughout the divorce or custody proceedings. This will help ensure that details are clearly identified, and expectations are known so the parents can co-parent in a manner that is in the best interests of their children.

Is child support modification an option?

2025-06-27T12:41:54Z

When entering into a custody proceeding or divorce proceeding involving minor children, considerations must be made to ensure the children’s financial needs are met. In Minnesota, both parents have a responsibility to provide for the financial support of their children. However, personal circumstances could change, leaving a parent with reduced income or financial burdens that impact that parent’s ability to contribute to the child’s support as was originally ordered. In such circumstances, options may exist for a parent to request a child support modification.

Addressing child support modifications

Absent an agreement between the parties, Minnesota law requires any parent seeking a change in child support to file a motion with the court. Doing so involves performing deliberate steps, and the parent might need some assistance with the process. The court can only modify child support back to the date the motion was served, not when the change occurred so it is important to make sure the paperwork is completed properly. Working with an attorney could reduce the chances of mistakes. The modification process exists to help all parties, but the focus is on meeting the child’s needs. A parent unable to make a child support payment could end up in arrears, which might lead to numerous legal problems. Parents that don’t pay child support as ordered may face contempt of court charges, wage and asset garnishments, driver’s license and passport suspensions, and other sanctions.

A formal process for altering child support

A formal process exists for child support modification requests. Minnesota law goes into great detail about the rules and requirements associated with modifying child support. The party requesting the modification has the burden prove that there has been a substantial change in circumstances that makes the existing child support order unreasonable and unfair. Claiming income loss or increased insurance premiums or childcare expenses without evidence won’t meet this burden. The statute notes that “excess employment” may or may not factor into decisions about child support modifications. Excess employment refers to work performed in addition to the traditional 40-hour work week. Bonuses and other incentive pay may or may not impact child support depending on the amount and consistency of receiving these payments. Determining a self-employed party’s income is not as simple as looking at tax returns because not all expenses that are allowed as deductions for tax purposes qualify as deductions allowed for determining income for child

How is the Child’s Voice Heard in Custody and Parenting Time Disputes?

2021-07-07T14:13:12Z

Navigating a custody or parenting time dispute can be a complex matter, especially if there is little to no communication between the parents. Parents often have conflicting ideas about what they believe is best for their child and what the child wants to happen with custody and parenting time.

Understanding the Wishes of the Child

Many parents erroneously believe that once a child reaches a certain age, the child is allowed to choose where the child lives. Depending on the child’s age, it may be appropriate to directly ask the child’s preference, but it should be clear that the child is not being given the authority to decide. While the wishes of the child is a relevant factor to consider, Minnesota law only considers the preferences of the child if the child is of “sufficient ability, age, and maturity to express an independent, reliable preference.” Minn. Stat. § 518.17 subd. 1(3). It is ultimately the judge’s responsibility to make these decisions when the parents cannot agree. A child should not have to carry around the burden of trying to please one parent while simultaneously trying not to hurt or disappoint the other. The best thing a parent can do for a child is to reassure the child that the parents are figuring it all out and everything will be okay. Parents need to let kids be kids and find emotionally safe ways for the child’s voice to be heard in custody and parenting time matters.

Hearing the Child’s Voice

As a general rule, children should not testify in court, be asked or allowed to speak to the parents’ attorneys, or be directed to send letters to the judge. On rare occasions, a judge may request or allow a child to speak to the judge in a setting that protects the child’s emotional well-being as best as possible. There are other ways, however, that a child’s voice can be heard in a custody dispute that puts additional layers of protection to safeguard the child’s emotions. The weight a child must carry if that child believes the child is responsible for the outcome of a custody dispute can be a weight too great for that child to bear, and the parents and attorneys should strive to protect the child from shouldering this burden. One option for hearing the child’s voice in a protective setting is for the parents to have their child see a therapist to help them process the conflict between their parents and learn about the child’s wishes. The therapist then shares that information in a general way to the parents. Therapists have techniques to work with children of all ages. They may do play therapy or talk to them about their lives, their homes, what they like and don’t like, and what works and doesn’t work. Depending on the child’s age, the therapist may help them articulate what they want their parents to know to help their parents make a decision about how much time they will spend time with each parent. The child’s therapist can then share the information with the parents and the attorneys, if attorneys are involved, so the parents can structure a meaningful custodial arrangement that takes into consideration the messages presented. This process removes the children from having to directly share their thoughts in front of the parents, from having to “choose” a parent, or from trying to protect a parent’s feelings. Children really do care about their parents and usually do not want to hurt or disappoint them. Kids just want things figured out so they can be kids. There is also a formal mediation process called child-inclusive mediation. In this process, the parents hire a therapist or child development specialist to talk with the child one or two times. Instead of reporting back directly to the parents, the therapist shares the information in a confidential mediation session to help the mediator work with the parents to create a custody and parenting time arrangement that aligns with the feedback. Another way a child’s voice may be heard is through a custody or parenting time evaluation. The evaluator typically interviews the child, observes the child and parent interaction, and looks deep into the life of the family to determine the child’s needs and how each parent can meet those needs. When appropriate, the custody evaluator can assess the child’s preference and incorporate it in the evaluator’s recommendations. The recommendations are given to the parents and their attorneys and are typically incorporated into a written report that describes in detail the analysis used to make the recommendations consistent with the best interest factors set forth in Minn. Stat. § 518.17. If the parents are still not able to reach an agreement after receiving the evaluator’s recommendations, the report and recommendations are provided to the judge for use at the child custody hearing. The judge often accepts the recommendations made by the evaluator, in whole or in part, because the process is very involved and child focused.